50 First Dates (2004)
A Lot Like Love (2005)
A Walk to Remember (2002)
A Walk to Remember - Nicholas Sparks
Across the Universe (2007)
America’s Sweethearts (2001)
Armageddon (1998)
As You Like It - William Shakespeare
Breakfast at Tiffany's - Truman Capote
Breakfast at Tiffany's - Truman Capote
Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)
Bridget Jones's Diary (Bridget Jones, #1) - Helen Fielding
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason - Helen Fielding
Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Casablanca (1943)
City of Angels (1998)
Cruel Intentions (1999)
Dirty Dancing (1987)
Emma - Jane Austen
Ever After (1998)
Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)
Gone With the Wind (1941)
Gone With the Wind - Margaret Mitchell
Grease (1978)
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)
I'm In No Mood For Love I'm In No Mood For Love (Writer Friends, #2) - Rachel Gibson
If Only (2004)
Just Like Heaven (2005)
Love Actually (2003)
Love Story (1970)
Love Story - Eric Segal
Match Me If You Can Match Me If You Can (Chicago Stars, #6) - Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Memoirs of a Geisha (2005)
Mr. Darcy's Diary - Amanda Grange
Never Been Kissed (1999)
Notting Hill (1999)
P.S. I Love You (2007)
Pretty Woman
Pride And Prejudice - Jane Austen
PS, I Love You - Cecelia Ahern
Romeo and Juliet - William Shakespeare
Rules of Attraction Rules of Attraction (Perfect Chemistry, #2) - Simone Elkeles
Runaway Bride (1999)
Sex and the City the Movie (2008)
Shakespeare in Love (1999)
Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
Something’s Gotta Give (2003)
Sweet Home Alabama (2002)
The Accidental Husband
The Notebook
The Perfect Man (2004)
The Tempest - William Shakespeare
The Way We Were
The Wedding Date(2005)
The Wedding Planner (2001)
The Wedding Singer (1998)
There’s Something About Mary (1998)
Titanic (1997).
Truly Madly Yours Truly Madly Yours - Rachel Gibson
When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
When Harry Met Sally (1989)
While You Were Sleeping (1995)
Working Girl (1988)
You’ve Got Mail (1998)

Friendship personalities of sun signs

We laugh, we cry; we fight and we make-up. We also hold grudges and keep secrets. But then soon enough, we pour our hearts out. We stand by each other in toughest times and on the lowest days. And, yet we make fun of each-other. We are friends!

The cousins we get to choose for ourselves, our alter-egos, our friends play a distinctive role in shaping our choices, preferences and even our personalities. One of the most important influences in our lives, friends are like colours – adding not just beauty and variety to our lives, but also substance and support.

Let's get to know them even better with the Sun Sign-wise guide to friendship personalities -

ARIES
Aries is a fire sign, so independence is a part of its legacy. Happiest when they are in charge of situations, Aries natives have a competitive side that surfaces whenever they are in large groups of people. Their sharp wit and quirky sense of humour ensures that the people of all ages and temperaments connect well with them. Never at a loss for companions, they themselves are extremely selective about their own friend circle. It's definitely going to be a night to remember when friends step out with these fun-loving, flamboyant rock-stars. However, the Aries' need for variety kicks in soon after, and then, the Aries natives are perfectly capable of moving onto a new set of friends, especially if they are bored. Ruled by the First House, the house of Self, Aries tend to put their own needs first, though not intentionally. This should cast no shadow of doubt on their reliability as friends, as they may not share that last piece of chocolate, but they will always be there for their friends, even at 4 am.

TAURUS
There's an inner genuineness to Taurus that shines through, and naturally attracts people to them. They believe that friends are a great source of learning and support, and pride themselves on their stimulating and eternal friendships. They are often the ones with kindergarten friends, who can regale each other with stories from the past, and share an enviable unspoken understanding. They exemplify the phrase 'friends for life', playing varied roles of protector, entertainer, and critic as the need may be. They are steady and devoted, and their friendship is sure to stand the test of time. Without a demur, complaint, or rebuke, they will be there when they are needed, and will expect the same commitment from their friends. They are not big believers in the concept of 'complete space' in relationships, so they want to be involved in everything that matters to their friends. They can be the most wonderful friends if only their feelings are correctly understood. They are sensitive to the slightest snub, and will ably hide their insecurity below a smiling countenance, so friends will need to be careful to not take their undying loyalty for granted.

GEMINI
Gemini is one sign that seems tailor-made for friendship. Immensely popular on the social circuit, they swing between playing the dual roles of entertainers and intellectuals. This explains why they have a diverse set of friends - many groups for their many moods. They have two sides, and their friends need to know them well enough to assess the mood they are in. When they are in the mood for some moments of silence, nothing can lure them to a night around town. Similarly, when they are dressed to kill, they will ensure the night has no end. They love hanging out, and if their friends can tune into their wacky frequencies, they will be entertained to the hilt. With a mercurial temperament, Gemini is instantly attracted to intelligent people, and these relationships have the potential of becoming bonds for a lifetime. They are always open to adventures, so they have a different interesting perspective on most things. They are big on communication and would love spending time with someone they can match wits with. Optimistic and outgoing, they can create extraordinarily positive environments and help people see the brighter side of life.

CANCER
Many adjectives have been used to describe Cancer's sensitivity, but none of them can truly capture the essence of this soft-spoken sign's persona. They are definitely one of the more emotional signs of the zodiac, but that speaks volumes for the genuineness of their affections. They are loyal friends and while they may not express their feelings much, they will stand by their loved ones come what may. Being ruled by the moon necessitates that they are subject to swift mood changes, and they may be found smack in the middle of a boisterous group one moment, while the next moment they will be sitting by the windowsill deeply lost in thought. Nostalgia is a mood-booster for them, and they can often be seen poring over old photo albums, reliving their past. Their aesthetic side takes over when it comes to decorating their houses or setting up a kitchen garden, and they pride themselves on their fine taste. The doors to Cancer's home are always open for friends, especially those who shower them with the love and understanding that Cancer deserves. Their feelings are easily hurt, so close pals may need to treat them with kid gloves until they are completely secure in the relationship.

LEO
If there were a sign of the zodiac that could personify sunshine, Leo would be it. Outspoken and dramatic, they don't believe in beating about the bush, a quality that wins them as many admirers as it does critics. Completely at home in the spotlight, they love soaking up the attention and being surrounded by people. They are immensely supportive friends, always keeping one eye open for opportunities that can help their loved ones excel. Easygoing and quick-witted, they are a treat to hang out with, so it goes without saying that they have a huge social circle. They are generous to a fault, and will happily foot the bill for their friends, as long as they are not taken for granted. Leo is never going to settle for anything less than what they want, be it a dinner date, a designer dress, or a summer vacation. Their friends quickly learn to appreciate their charming and playful nature, and realize that the best way to have a fun time is to go along with the flow. Their competitive side rears its head occasionally when they feel that their friends are stealing their thunder, but they soon regain their sunny disposition and laud their friends for their achievements.

VIRGO
There's a softness to Virgo that reflects on their countenances, and people cannot help trusting these gentle souls. It doesn't hurt that they are always full of relevant advice, and will swear to keep your secrets until their dying day. They are definitely the most helpful friends a person could wish for - the ones who can make a detailed itinerary when you're on vacation, and a shopping list when you're going to the grocery store. They are very particular about details, and love creating order out of chaos. Virgo is the best friend to have in an emergency, as they seldom lose their composure and can think their way out of most situations. Not just that, they will foresee the loopholes in the plans they make, and plug them in advance, so they make for meticulous planners. The downside of these perfectionist buddies is that sometimes they stress so much over the minutest detail, that they can drive their friends up the wall. They are not proponents of PDA; their affections are felt rather than seen, and they may be embarrassed by shows of appreciation.

LIBRA
Punctuality is definitely not a virtue where Libra is concerned. Not that it's their fault; they are merely victims of analysis paralysis. When they do eventually turn up, they will apologize with such grace and genuine regret that their friends will be hard put to stay mad at them. Smooth talkers with a positive take on everything under the sun, they can effortlessly charm their way into any situation. Resourceful and always ready to help, they are your best bet when you need something double-quick. And with the kind of bonds they form, their friends will never refuse them any favours. With their high levels of intellect and awareness, they are great friends to have and provide their friends with constant entertainment. Libra is a people's person, and alone time is totally not on their agenda. This may result in them being demanding of their friends' attention and time, but with the way they pamper their friends, who's going to complain? Swanky hotspots, dream vacations, designer threads, and A-list personalities – all these are an integral part of the Libra friendship plan. Friends swear by their taste in clothes, often hauling them off for shopping sprees.

SCORPIO
There is an aura of mystery that surrounds Scorpio, a quality that greatly intrigues their friends. They may be selective about opening up in matters close to their heart, and tend to hold back until they are sure their friends will not judge them. This also leads to frequent misunderstandings, as friends remain in the dark about the intensity of their feelings. Once friends have proved they are worthy of the Scorpio's affections, they can be assured of a companion for life. They are quite comfortable on their own, so they don't have many close friendships, but are possessive about the few they do. They are loyalty personified and will defend their friends come hell or high water, but they also expect a reciprocal allegiance. Forgive and forget is clearly not their motto and they will make a virtual note of any slight, so friends need to be doubly careful with their words and actions. They are scornful of flattery but have great respect for genuine praise, so when they appreciate something, you can be sure they mean it. With their secretive natures and intense emotions, Scorpio friends are anything but predictable.

SAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius is a sign that is fascinated by the very thought of learning, and any friend who can feed their eternal hunger for knowledge is a friend worth holding on to. Their interactions with their friends provide them with food for thought, and they keep an open mind so they can absorb everything they hear, see, and read. This is also the reason why they have a large and diverse set of friends. With their endless observations on culture and philosophy, Sagittarius can be an extremely interesting companion to have along on a journey. They get a high out of adventures so if you're game, they will take you on the ride of your life. Entertainment will be on the house when they are around, and friends will spend many side-splitting moments with these natural madcaps, even if the laughter is at their expense. Their love for the unique ensures they try out loads of hobbies and adventure sports, and needless to say, they will make friends there too. Friends can rely on Sagittarius blindly; they never hold a grudge, or tomtom a favour, and will be there for their friends when they need them irrespective of time or distance.

CAPRICORN
Capricorn is hardly the type to waste time on frivolities, as they are extremely clear of what they want and where they want to be. Often, they are so caught up in getting to their goals that they may come across as snooty, but this could not be further from the truth. Resourceful and capable, they will spare no expense when their friends need something. Their practical instincts kick in when they are asked for advice, and they can sit up all night with their friends to help them put their lives in order. They are not really the risk takers of the zodiac, and would happily trade an adventurous option for a tried and tested one. Although they are loners by nature, they manage to rustle up quite a few close relationships. Traditional and responsible, they have a very strong sense of the role they play in society, and are extremely dependable. Never one to wear emotions on the sleeve, Capricorn is a loyal friend and partner, and never goes back on a promise. They also have great respect for people who have come up the hard way, and are dedicated to their professions. With a fine sense of humour and their typical deadpan expressions, they manage to get away with biting sarcasm.

AQUARIUS
If you judge Aquarius by the number of friends they have, you would assume they are the most easygoing people to be with. This assumption is not far off the mark, but it is certainly circumstantial. In reality, they keep their cards extremely close to their chest, and it is very few people who have the privilege of sharing their secrets. They may be generous and caring individuals, who can go out of their way to help even strangers, but they can distance themselves from their loved ones in a flash. For someone with so many friends, Aquarius is strangely not desirous of being in the limelight. They would happily work behind the scenes when they see someone in need, and are embarrassed by demonstrations of gratitude. They love surprising their friends with little treats and expect nothing in return. The only prerequisite is that they should be the ones making the decisions, be it the cuisine for a night out, the colour of a shirt, or a weekend destination. Friends can safely assume they are headed for a good time, because Aquarius is blessed with impeccable taste and an eye for beauty. All will be well in paradise as long as their friends don't cling too tight or try to dispute their decisions; any restrictions or dissent will instantly get their hackles up.

PISCES
There's a whole new world that Pisces inhabits, and they often scuttle off there to sort out their thoughts. Caring and sensitive, they are the best people to turn to when you want to vent your frustrations or get advice on a new relationship. There isn't an iota of superficiality to the Pisces concern; they truly want to understand what you're feeling so that they can make you feel better with the appropriate response. Armed with hypersensitive intuition and a knack of knowing just what to say, they can be the best buddies ever. They will never complain when they are flooded with sob stories, and will patiently hear out every one, often offering pertinent advice. They expect their friends to tell them their troubles because they are extremely open with their emotions themselves. Their vulnerability may be their Achilles Heel however, as this opens them up to being manipulated or getting hurt. They are not superhuman after all; they have insecurities too, and need as much reassurance as anyone else. Once left to their own devices, they can surprise friends with their creative ideas, and make them see a dream world that takes their minds off their worries.

How your sun sign affects the way you fall in love.

Aries dives in with a thunderbolt of passion, and they won’t be slowed down for an instant. They’ll jump in with both feet, declare their undying love and let the chips fall where they may. Hopefully they’ll have picked a lover who likes being swept off their feet!

Taurus never moves fast. These folks like to take their time, so their neon-lit moment may take a while to catch fire. But once they’ve decided, they won’t be put off by any resistance or coyness from the apple of their eye -- they’ll stick around until they get what they want.

Gemini often hears bells and whistles, but they’re familiar with their own fickleness and may hold back until they’re sure it’s not just another passing whim. In the interim, they’ll chat so entertainingly that their potential lover will become smitten before long.

Cancer is definitely driven by their feelings ... but they’re also highly self-protective. They’ll approach their beloved cautiously and in the best crab-like fashion: sideways! This means that they’ll test the waters by introducing their new love interest to their family for approval before declaring their singular devotion.

Leo wears their heart on their sleeve. They certainly don’t like being rebuffed, but amid all their enthusiasm, they probably won’t consider that a possibility! They’ll shower their newfound love with compliments, expensive dinners and objets d’amour -- and expect a commitment within the week.

Virgo doesn’t go in for impulse decisions when it comes to love; rather, they’ll review their prospect with a somewhat detached eye as they try to spot any flaws. They’ll then likely persuade themselves that imperfections are a part of life and need to be accepted. And if the physical attraction is strong enough at the start, they’ll surely tumble head over heels.

Libra is known for their cool demeanor and indecisiveness, so they can often talk themselves out of love. They’ll weigh the pluses and minuses and think through all possible options -- and if their choice is still there after all this careful consideration, they might just allow themselves to fall hard.

Despite being a fixed sign, Scorpio can instantly go off the deep end when it comes to love. They’re quite intuitive and are rarely wrong about a prospective partner’s reactions. Conversely, they’re also very self-protective and insist on receiving positive feedback before laying their heart on the line.

Sagittarius is fiery to the point of recklessness, and rarely hesitates right out of the gate in a new relationship. In fact, it seems as if they have a guardian angel on their shoulder to make love happen the way they want. The Archer is also remarkably resilient, and always remembers that if this one doesn’t work out, the next one will.

Capricorn can be surprisingly sensual, but they’re also socially ambitious. Because of this, they may experience inner conflict about whether the object of their desire will be right for their lifestyle -- now and in the future. They’re not known to move quickly, and will instead give the relationship time to develop naturally.

Intimacy makes Aquarius nervous, so the prospect of a lifelong mate is daunting. The first thing they’ll probably do is introduce their new love interest to their social circle to see how they fit in; they’ll also flaunt their independence to see whether possessiveness will be an issue. Only then will they allow the relationship to grow -- and even then, gradually.

Pisces will know immediately when their dream of romance is standing right in front of them. But being forthcoming is not a Piscean strength, so like a true Water sign, they’ll do all they can to protect their insecurities. They’ll dance around and be elusive, and only when they feel secure will they make their feelings known.

Attract true love your way

1: Envision the relationship you want to be in:

“Until you are able to see yourself living the life that you truly want, it will be difficult for you to create it.” “The One” offers a number of concrete exercises — such as creating a collage of lifelong dreams and writing the story of one’s life as if it were a fairy tale that ends with all of your wishes fulfilled — that helps the reader identify his or her personal vision of a truly satisfying relationship. “It was fun to imagine the ideal life that I wanted for myself,” Carly C. says. “I enjoyed thinking about my ‘dream’ soul mate, and then relaxing and letting it go rather than struggling and feeling anxious about whether he would ever enter my life.”

2: Release any toxic ties and let go of the past:

Relationships we form “have the capacity to nurture and inspire our growth” or to “block the experience and expression of love in our lives.” Identify “toxic ties” as attachments “that cause us to lose personal power.” These attachments can include prior romantic partners, friends or relatives, and when we don’t release these “toxic ties,” they can prevent us from moving forward with our love lives and keep us from attracting a partner who nurtures and supports us. When you “Practice” “Releasing Toxic Ties,” journal about questions they may have regarding this issue, including:

What relationship(s), if any, do I suspect may qualify as a ‘toxic tie’ for me?
What fears are dominating me in this relationship?
What boundaries could I set that would increase the health and wellness in this relationship?

3: Set an intention for your life:

We can create a “climate in which love can ‘miraculously manifest’” by following the first three steps for setting an intention:

“The first step: to have a thought and/or belief in a particular possibility.”
“The second step: to speak your intention out loud.”
“The third step: to take actions that support the manifestation of your intention, and abstain from those that sabotage it.”

“In other words, I believe that finding love is possible for me, and I tell those people who are capable of seeing that possibility as well (and probably even those I’m dating) that I’m committed to finding ‘The One.’ Then I do that which is consistent with that intention as well as refraining from that which is not.” The fourth step of setting an intention is letting go of the results once you’ve done the work outlined in the first three steps. In other words, now it’s time to relax and let life happen to you.

4: Write a love letter to yourself:

Imagine that you are your ideal partner and put aside a quiet half hour to write a love letter addressed to yourself. What would your partner love and notice about you? How would that person express his or her caring for you? Expect to feel resistance toward completing this exercise, but push through and see what you might learn about yourself from your letter and what your ideal relationship and partner would look like.
It is very rewarding and very eye-opening. It is all about you being ready; it’s about being in the right head space, rather than just the number of people you meet.”

5: Make a welcoming space for love in your life:

Take up a challenge to go through their homes and evaluate whether they’re welcoming environments or not. “Make a list of at least five things you can alter in your home to create a more welcoming environment for an intimate partner,”
“Add to that one or two things you do to alter your schedule so that there is some breathing room in your life to explore new relationships.”

Signs you are in
Love

Love. We all have been in love at least
once in our lives. And we all know that it does something to us.
Our body
language changes, we feel happier than usual, the world does not feel like a
hell hole anymore, and we find ourselves smiling randomly at odd hours at random
people. Love can do wonderful things to you and some of the obvious signs of
being in love are listed below.
1. She is ALWAYS on your mind
No matter
what you do or where you are, that one person will always be on your mind. It is
like they have hijacked your mind space and continue to dominate the area week
after week. In the beginning you might take this to be an obsession or even
infatuation, but if the dominance persists for a prolonged period, you can be
sure you are in love.
2. Ms. Perfect
Ever feel that she cannot do anything
wrong? That she is the one person who wouldn’t as much as hurt a fly and is
incapable of causing grief and harm to anyone on this planet? Ever find
yourself thinking that she is the best blend of talent and beauty, of compassion
and passion? If the answers to all the above is yes, you are in love!
3. Your
playlist = romantic songs
Our playlist suggests a lot about our personality.
It does not simply mirror our taste in music, but it reflects our current state
of mind as well. So if your playlist is full of love songs, then it is one major
sign of you being in love.
4. You want to spend ALL your time with her
If
you are going through a phase of wanting to meet and spend time with only one
person, then you are bitten by the love bug. People in love often don’t
feel like meeting friends/family. They simply want to spend all their time with
the person they love. If you are going through something similar, it does not
mean you are some crazy obsessive person, but it means that you want to get to
know her better and be around her all the time. So if you find yourself making
plans with her and only her every weekend, then you are in love.
5. You’re
willing to better yourself for her
For very few people in this world we are
willing to change or better ourselves. The obvious entries in this list of
people are close family members and a friend or two. If you find a girl (who is
not just your best friend) in this list then you know you are in love. If you
want to better yourself, be the best human you can possibly be for one girl then
you are definitely in love with her.

There is a difference between a "Nice Guy" and a "Good Man," as was recently brought to my attention. In a previous blog, I tried to pinpoint the characteristics of a "Nice Guy" (since I've been successful at bypassing him in life thus far), but a "Good Man" goes above and beyond our general idea of Mr. Nice Guy. His chivalry and actions, rather than words (or promises), define him as a quality human being. He's like the Platinum Card of men created in this world, and I would love to get an upgrade from my poor credit history.

So, here is my updated version of the ideal man (although, even a "nice guy" would be an upgrade from the emotionally unavailable men I keep getting issued with):

A Good man:

sends you warm wishes, kind words, and his best intentions because he truly cares for you. Or, he'll "say it like it is," because he cares about you.
takes care of his family because it's the honorable thing to do. He is a good father and provider. If he has to earn money collecting recyclables by digging in trash cans, he will. He will roll up his sleeves and shovel manure to be able to put food on the table.
makes you feel loved. His actions speak louder than words.
would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it, or let you ride on his back as he takes you over the hurdles.
would give his life for the security of his family, or even his country. He gets upset when a soldier is discriminated against because of his sexual orientation. He makes an effort to teach his children about tolerance and compassion-- that we are all just people in this world.
doesn't need to sleep with hundreds of women to feel like a man. He has perfected the skills of pleasing the one woman he makes a connection with, and can turn away countless others who vie for the spot.
will take the high road, but would become the Tasmanian Devil to protect those he loves. He is the tamed lion you can lean on, but isn't ashamed to put on an apron to cook a feast.
does what is right, even if it's the hardest choice.

I want to dedicate this to a good man who, with a few short messages, breathed life back into my sails. With his warmth and compassion, he showed me that I don't miss being with someone so much as I long for the feeling of being thought of, cared about, and appreciated, most of all. The cinders are still smoldering in my heart, and I now know that I should never give up hope. Love is the most precious gift of this life. The fire in my heart will burn again. Thanks to all the good men out there who make a woman feel like a lady.

To all the other hopeful romantics: don't ever give up hope. As long as you're still breathing, life is forever changing before your eyes. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs. And someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending.
Every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it, this third act twist: the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule.
But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending, we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.
And maybe this happy ending doesn't include a wonderful guy. Maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over. Freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on.
Or maybe the happy ending is this: Knowing that all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment... you never, ever, gave up hope.

If you're the gal who doesn't need anything (or acts like she doesn't), the kind of guy you want will NOT pick …

Needy women attract good men.

"Low-maintenance" women attract jerks…or no men at all. Is this counter to what you've always thought?
Did you think that the less you expected from a man, the more he'd like you?

Well, consider this: A Good Man - one who is confident, mature and relationship-minded - wants to give to a woman and make her happy. He needs to know that you need him and that he's enhancing your already-great life.
A good man also wants to know that you respect and love yourself. He does not want to be completely responsible for your happiness. (That's why I said he wants to "enhance" your life, not "be" your life.)

Now, say you're the gal who doesn't need anything (or at least doesn't act like you do). Mr. Good Man will NOT pick you as a partner. He may sleep with you…but he won't marry you. If you don't leave room for him to be your hero, and you don't show that you know you're worthy of him, he will leave before you can say "Why didn't he call?"

On the other hand, let's say that you graciously receive his compliments and show enthusiastic appreciation for the big and little things he does for you. Maybe you occasionally ask for his advice and let him open the pickle jar. You also make and keep boundaries, expect him to keep his word, and expect to be treated special. That, along with your kindness to him, tells Mr. Good Man that you're relationship material.

You're able to welcome him into your life, and you're confident in who you are, what you want, and how to get it. Isn't it funny? All this time we thought being low maintenance got the guy. Actually, that was in high school.

Now, as a grownup woman looking to share her life with a grownup man, not expecting anything only gets the guy who doesn't want to give you anything. So here's some homework to help you decide where you stand with this.

Look back on previous relationships (short or long) and answer these questions: Were there any good guys who might have gotten away because you acted like you didn't need him and/or didn't seem to have any expectations of him?

~Are the men you're attracting the Good Guys? Are they givers or are they takers? ~Do you know your boundaries, and do you stick to them?

~How well do you show him that you respect yourself? If a cute guy asks you out for Friday night on Friday morning, do you accept?

When he doesn't call or shows up late, do you tell him it's okay because you don't want to scare him away? (I think he gets one free pass on these, btw.) When he's telling you he's too busy to see you week after week, are you still hanging on?

~And…how is this working for you?

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

How To Keep Him Happy Without

Being Miss Perfect

Falling in love is easy, keeping that chemistry going is another story. It’s not a matter of being the perfect or ideal girl, but the willingness to keep your love going. So here are ways to keep him feeling happy and putting that spark back in your relationship:

KEEP THAT SMILE. Not only that it makes us more attractive, but smiling as we all know is contagious. A part of our brain, the cingulate cortex, has an unconscious automatic response to smile if we feel happy or mimicking another’s smile. So if you’re smiling at him, he can’t help but smile back. And now that you’re at it, why don’t you throw him a punch line and give him a playful wink as well.

LOOK GOOD AND FEEL GOOD. You may say that “if he really loves me, he wouldn’t care what I look like “and I totally agree, but it wouldn’t hurt to look and feel pretty once in a while. It doesn’t mean that you have to cover yourself in make-up, sometimes loose powder and a lip gloss goes a long way. Remember a man loves a woman who carries herself well and is confident about herself.

FLATTERY GETS US SOMEWHERE. As much as we like hearing sweet nothings from our beaus, they also want to hear it from us. Telling him that he looks good in his new shirt or how he’s rocking that new haircut will not just make him feel good, but also reassures that you’re still attracted to him. Men don’t often get compliments so it makes them happy hearing that their efforts are well appreciated. Saying that you love spending time with him makes him feel like you’re not after his looks or his status quo but his personality and character.

LET HIM BE THE GENTLEMAN. Although most men will say that they like an independent woman, they also want to feel needed and respected. Don’t refuse him when he offers to carry your things for you or don’t hesitate to ask him to pick you up from work if you’re working late. And don’t forget to say thank you when he opens that stubborn jar for you.

The Greatest Definition of Love

“Knowledge of each other, not of the flesh but through the flesh,

knowledge of self, the real him, the real her, in extremis, the

mask slipped from the face…”

Literary history is as strewn with colorful attempts to define love - including some particularly memorable ones — as modern psychology is with attempts to dissect its inner workings. But perhaps the most powerful and profoundly human definition I’ve ever encountered comes from Czech-born British playwright Tom Stoppard’s 1982 play The Real Thing - a masterwork of insight on the heart’s trials and triumphs in human relationships.

In the second act, when the protagonist’s cynical teenage daughter probes what falling in love is like, he offers a disarmingly raw, earnest, life-earned answer:

It’s to do with knowing and being known. I remember how it stopped seeming odd that in biblical Greek, knowing was used for making love. Whosit knew so-and-so. Carnal knowledge. It’s what lovers trust each other with. Knowledge of each other, not of the flesh but through the flesh, knowledge of self, the real him, the real her, in extremis, the mask slipped from the face. Every other version of oneself is on offer to the public. We share our vivacity, grief, sulks, anger, joy… we hand it out to anybody who happens to be standing around, to friends and family with a momentary sense of indecency perhaps, to strangers without hesitation. Our lovers share us with the passing trade. But in pairs we insist that we give ourselves to each other. What selves? What’s left? What else is there that hasn’t been dealt out like a deck of cards? Carnal knowledge. Personal, final, uncompromised. Knowing, being known. I revere that. Having that is being rich, you can be generous about what’s shared — she walks, she talks, she laughs, she lends a sympathetic ear, she kicks off her shoes and dances on the tables, she’s everybody’s and it don’t mean a thing, let them eat cake; knowledge is something else, the undealt card, and while it’s held it makes you free-and-easy and nice to know, and when it’s gone everything is pain. Every single thing. Every object that meets the eye, a pencil, a tangerine, a travel poster. As if the physical world has been wired up to pass a current back to the part of your brain where imagination glows like a filament in a lobe no bigger than a torch bulb. Pain.

Characteristics of Real Love

Love. It makes the world go 'round, right?

Well, at least that's the how the saying

goes. But is it true? It should be, but so

many people confuse love with things like

jealousy or possessiveness. True love isn't

either of those things. But these 16 things

are.So here are the characteristics of REAL

love:

1. Love means saying goodbye to expectations.

Sure, we all want people to behave the way we

want them to. We want them to be more

affectionate. Or more outgoing. Or smarter.

Or more ambitious. All of these things are

expectations. Expectations are just your

requirements for "acceptability" of loving

someone. But true love has no expectations. It

simply loves "as is."

2. Love doesn't play the victim role or blame

others. Love doesn't think others are "out to

get them." Love doesn't think their loved ones

are wrong. Love works together. It takes

responsibility. It forgives and allows other

people's actions to be their journey. Love

doesn't take things personally.

3. Love includes letting go.

Love doesn't equal possession. Just as the

saying goes, "If you love something, set it

free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it

doesn't, then it never was." There is truth to

that. Love allows people their freedom. It

doesn't hold tightly and crush their wings in

attempt to keep them. True love doesn't want

to possess. It is willing to set you free if

you want to be.

4. Love doesn't require you to continue a

relationship.

You may love someone very much, but you may

not be compatible with them. Or they may drive

you crazy with their continued disregard for

your feelings. You can still love them, but

that doesn't mean you have to be with them.

Love doesn't mean that you have to stay, and

stay and stay. You can leave the relationship

and love them anyway.

5. Love has no room for jealousy.

Like possession, jealousy doesn't equal love.

We think that if we're not jealous of our

loved ones that it means that we don't love

them. True love has confidence in the quality

of the relationship. It knows that the other

person is happy and content coming back to

you and only you.

6. Love is the absence of fear.

You can put all emotions on a continuum. On

one end, you have love. Then appreciation.

After that, it's joy, happiness, contentment

and satisfaction. On the opposite end of the

continuum of love is fear. Other fear-based

emotions include, hatred, insecurity,

jealousy or greed.

7. Love is not needing, but wanting.

One of the things we try to teach kids is that

there is a clear difference between a want

and a need. Needing someone is a feeling

based in fear. You fear that you can't live

without them, so you need them. And remember,

fear is the opposite of love. Wanting someone

in your life gives them the freedom to leave,

but still shows them you love them.

8. Love is an action, not just a feeling.

Humans tend to be addicted to intense emotion

-- especially when it feels good. So, when

we're in love, we want to feel that way

forever. But guess what? That higher than

"Cloud 9" feeling goes away after a while.

That doesn't mean you don't love the other

person anymore, it just means that it's not

new anymore. So that's where the action needs

to kick in. Show the person you love them.

Don't just assume they know.

9. Love is unconditional.

The word "unconditional" means that there are

no expectations or limitations set. To love

unconditionally is a difficult thing, and most

humans aren't good at that. But true love

really does love without trying to change the

other person.

10. Love means putting other people's needs

equal to -- or before -- your own.

While people may be inherently selfish for

survival purposes, this does not serve us well

in relationships. If you don't put other

people's needs at least equal to your own,

they will grow resentful. Real love truly,

genuinely cares about other people's happiness

and will go to great lengths to make people

feel valued.

11. Love is the highest vibration emotion that

there is.

Science has proven that emotions like love and

fear have very different vibrations. They can

actually measure them. Love vibrates very

fast, whereas fear-based emotions (think

jealousy, possessiveness, hatred, greed, etc.)

vibrate very slowly. When you love

completely and unconditionally, there is no

fear involved. The vibrations of love make you

feel good at all times.

12. Love requires attention.

Love doesn't ignore. It doesn't look the other

way. It wants to be present and be together.

When people are in love, sometimes they think

that they don't have to "do any more work."

But real love actually enjoys giving attention

to another person. It feels good, and doesn't

see giving attention to another person as a

chore.

13. Love understands and accepts differences.

Let's face it: We're all different. Even

identical twins aren't exactly the same. They

have different experiences and outlooks about

the world. Real love doesn't make other people

wrong for being different. When people truly

love another person, they accept their

differences.

14. Love varies in how it is expressed and

accepted.

What makes us "feel loved" varies. In the book

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, he

explains the different ways people give and

receive love: (1) Words (2) Acts of Service,

(3) Giving Gifts, (4) Spending Time Together

and (5) Touch. It's important to discover

other people's love language so you can

understand each other and give love in a way

that the other person recognizes it.

15. Love makes you feel good, not bad.

Many people confuse being in a relationship

with love. Just because you're in a

relationship doesn't mean there is true love

present. If there is jealousy, possessiveness,

constant fighting, abuse (verbal, emotional

or physical), that is not love. Refer back to

#6. Those are fear-based emotions and actions.

16. Love has empathy.

Empathy is the ability to put yourself into

another person's shoes and see a situation

from his/her point of view. Love has deep

empathy. "When you hurt, I hurt." People who

truly love one another don't want to hurt

them. They want them to feel good. They care

about their feelings and try everything they

can to make them feel valued and worthy.

Remember, love is happiness, appreciation and

feeling good. Anything other than that is not

love. If we all loved one another as

ourselves, the world would be a better place!

Things You Should Have Done By The

Time You're 50

There are some things we are too young for and other

things we are too old for. But there are some clear

demarcations of things we should have done by the time

we hit 50. Here's a list of nine of them. Please add your

own in the comments section.

1. Owned a matching set of big fluffy towels.
While we all know that it isn't our material possessions that define us, you need big fluffy towels for the same reason you need your morning barista fix: It's a small luxury that packs a big feel-good punch. For $3, you get to treat yourself to a steaming hot cuppa Joe that someone else made for you, just you -- and they even put your (misspelled) name on the cup. Same theory with the towels. When you step out of the shower and into the waiting arms of an oversized, high-quality towel, you no longer care about the leak under the sink or the boss who walked by without saying "hello."

For those who doubt the magical powers of Egyptian cotton bath towels to make all the bad stuff go away, well, we can only assume that yours are threadbare and you save the good ones for company. Think about that for a minute, OK? Who's worth more? You or your old college roommate when she passes through town twice a decade and wants a free place to crash?

For empty nesters who don't have grandkids coming around very often, we want to encourage you to really go out on the ledge and buy white ones.

2. Burned your candles.
Candles, for most of our 20s, were our go-to dwelling decoration. They were relatively inexpensive, looked pretty, and we would no more think of burning them than we would set fire to any of our poster wall-hangings. Candles weren't functional; they were decorative.

Candles need to be burned. They look pretty and generally smell good -- but even more so when you burn them. They add ambience and set a mood. There's another lesson here too: They, like everything and everyone, don't last forever. They get dusty and can even melt when left in the sun too long. (How's that for a metaphor for life?)

Candles, like pretty much everything else, have a purpose -- a destiny, if you will. Let your candles fulfill their destiny: Use them.

3. Used your good china regularly.
When you inherited your grandma's china, you knew it was because you were her favorite and she wanted you -- not your cousin -- to have it. In doing so, grandma may have launched the family's Cold War, but she had her reasons. Now do her the honor of using those dainty cups and saucers already. Old china, certainly the unchipped variety, has value -- but its monetary worth doesn't hold an unburned candle (sorry, couldn't resist) to the value of thinking of grandma every time you serve your family on the plates she so lovingly bestowed on you.

Keep the service in use, if not for every day, at least for every special occasion -- and certainly more than just once a year when your cousin is in town.

4. Preserved the photo albums and scrapbooks of your youth.
Each time we move, we tend to toss out old stuff. The more moves, the more of our past goes in the dumpster. Sometimes, tales of our early lives benefit from a little documentation. We'd like to make the case for printed photos kept in albums and scrapbooks from our childhoods. You won't believe how important these low-tech conveyances are to your high-tech kids and grandkids -- especially when you sit down and tell them the stories behind that road trip in 1959 in the station wagon or show them photos of what you looked like in high school -- big hair and all.

While digitalizing it all is certainly a good way to ensure its future, no need to willfully destroy the past.

5. Made peace with the past.
Not everyone had a happy childhood, we get it. But at some point, you will be happier to practice forgiveness and develop a more selective memory. Try remembering the happy times, however infrequent those moments were. Rehashing the past, blaming your unhappiness on it -- it gets in the way of moving forward. Do yourself a favor and cross the bridge. Choose to let go of anger.

6. Found a best friend who you can call 24/7.
The rules for adult best friends are vastly different from the ones governing childhood best friends. For one, you can have more than one of them simultaneously without misusing the word "best." You can have a hiking bestie, a shopping bestie, a bestie who you diet with, have spa days with, cry to when you feel like it and gchat for hours, both of you drinking wine. A best friend doesn't need to live in the same state or even the same time zone as you. And you don't actually have to see them on any fixed schedule. But the one thing they must be is there for you.

Some of us marry our best friends; others only wish they had.

7. Learned how to enjoy things by yourself.
The age at which we are most likely to find ourselves alone comes in our later years, but what's the harm in preparing for it now? Women outliv men; children grow up and move to distant places. Sometimes, we find ourselves alone.

Rather than feel lonely, it behooves everyone to embrace occasional aloneness and learn how to handle it. Do you stay inside and binge watch TV series while chowing down leftovers still cold from the 'frig, or do you walk yourself into the restaurant you've been wanting to try and say "table for one, please?" Will you take a yoga class if you have no one to do it with? Will you skip a movie rather than sit by yourself? Everyone has different comfort zone limits, but learning how to be alone successfully isn't a bad idea for any of us.

"The ability to enjoy your own company is a great skill to have," said Kathleen McCoy, psychotherapist and author of "Making Peace with Your Adult Children." Too many people rely on their kids or friends for entertainment -- even to go shopping, she said. "They end up not doing anything and become hermits." It's perfectly fine to practice doing some social things by yourself, she said. When the Huffington Post caught up with her, she had just returned from seeing a movie alone. Her husband didn't want to see it, so she went by herself.

8. Been dazzled by a masterpiece.
Let's just dispose of the Mona Lisa right here and now, shall we? As anyone who has ever seen the painting of the mysterious smile will tell you, it's way smaller than you imagined and that alone leaves a lot of people feeling disappointed. Personally, we will never forget being at Stonehenge mystified and feeling the undeniable presence of something greater than man. We feel that way at each sunrise too.

9. Made a difference.
The good news? You still have time.

Micro-Lessons
Lesson 1: The False Power of Ego
"What I know for sure is you can't even begin to love yourself or even be true to yourself unless you know who you really are—separate from your ego.".
Lesson 2: The False Power of Ego
"[The ego is] an impostor, imposing on the real you, making you think that you're something that you're not."
Lesson 3: Letting Go of Anger
"One of the best lessons for me is learning that revenge is another way for the ego to show itself."
Lesson 4: You Become What You Believe
"Do you believe that you are worthy of happiness? Do you believe that happiness, success abundance, comfort, fulfillment, peace, joy, love is a part of your birthright? Or do you believe something else? Because you will manifest the life that you believe."
Lesson 5: The Truth Will Set You Free
"If you are in any way keeping a secret, or if you are in any way pretending to be something that you are not, you will never ever become all that you were meant to be. It just cannot happen."
Lesson 6: Everybody Has a Calling
"Sometimes the calling is something that was just a whisper to you and when you begin to honor that whisper and to follow that, you end up being the best that you can be."
Lesson 7: Aging Beautifully
"When you lie about your age you are denying that part of your life. You are denying energetically the years that you have earned here on the planet Earth. ...You are denying your very existence."
Lesson 8: When You Know Better You Do Better
"Do you know how freeing those words are? How freeing they can be for you? What it means is you don't have to hold yourself hostage to who you used to be or anything you ever used to do."
Lesson 9: You're Responsible for Your Life
"If you're sitting around waiting on somebody to save you, to fix you, to even help you, you are wasting your time because only you have the power to take responsibility to move your life forward."
Lesson 10: When People Show You Who You Are..Believe Them
"When somebody has shown you who they are, believe them. Stop expecting them to be something other than who they are. Believe them. And move on."
Lesson 11: Listen To Your Gut
"Your gut is the voice of your higher self. It's your personal GPS system to guide you and to try to keep you out of danger's way. Out of harm's way. That is the gift of fear."
Lesson 12: Do Your Eyes Light Up When You Child Walks In The Room?
"Most of the arguments that you have had in your life have not been about the specific thing but they've been about what is behind the thing that you're arguing about...And if you peel back the layers, what is usually behind the things that we're arguing about is, Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you? Do I matter? That's what everybody is looking for."
Lesson 13: Step Out Of The Box
"I love that! 'If you want something you never had, you've got to do something you've never done.'"
Lesson 14: Love Doesn't Hurt
"Your relationship with your spouse, with your family, with your friends all can change if you get this lesson that took me to my late 20s, probably mid-30s to actually fully realize: Love does not hurt."
Lesson 15: Love Doesn't Hurt
"When you trust yourself, it means you don't tolerate being stood up more than one time. ...You don't tolerate chronic betrayal."
Lesson 16: Love Doesn't Hurt
"When you can trust that you love yourself, care for yourself, have enough honor and respect for yourself that you will not allow other people to harm you, then you can succeed in any relationship....It doesn't mean that somebody won't hurt you again. It means that when they do, you will know what to do.... You will not let that destroy you."
Lesson 17: Love Doesn't Hurt
"Love is truth. Love is grace, is joyful."
Lesson 18: Slow Down
"Being in the present moment—if you can learn to do that—begins to change your whole life."
Lesson 19: Newton's Third Law
"If there are a lot of negative people in your life, don't look at them, look at the energy that you are creating to attract them. Don't look at them, look at yourself."
Lesson 20: You've Always Had The Power
"The only courage you ever need is the courage to fulfill the dreams of your own life."