Strange Facts About Kissing 

# Hormones abound

Did you know that open-mouth kissing allows for the transfer of hormones from a man to a woman? Mucus membranes in the mouth are permeable to hormones like testosterone, which a man can introduce into a woman's mouth through kissing. The testosterone then increases arousal in the woman, which leads to higher chances of sex!

# Make or break

Remember the scene in "27 Dresses" where Katherine Heigl's character finally kisses her crush/boss and she says it just doesn't feel right? That's because kissing is the ultimate "mate assessment tool" that allows us to find a partner who we are genetically compatible with. That's why first kisses can make or break a relationship. Biology can determine whether two people are compatible or not. 

# Burning up

Like most physical activity we encounter on a daily basis, kissing burns calories. A quick romantic kiss is said to help burn around 2 to 3 calories while a passionate kiss can burn 5 or more calories. That means the longer and more passionate the kiss, the more calories are burned.

# A healthy kiss

The taste and smell of a person's mouth can signal health issues -- both in general (to a doctor, for example) and to the partner. Women seek signs of a healthy partner that can provide security for them and their future children. Men, on the other hand, seek healthy women to become mothers and raise their offspring. 

# Let's bond

Kissing can definitely lead to emotional bonding, which is why men who seek shorter relationships are hesitant to stay in a woman's bed after sex to cuddle. Cuddling leads to kissing, which leads to intimacy -- and that's just not what some guys are looking for.

# Work your face

We can do squats for our booty, lift weights for Michelle Obama arms, and leg curls to develop a stronger stride -- but when it comes to our faces, kissing is the ultimate workout to keep our facial muscles strong. Our cheeks are kept tight and supple when we engage around 30 different muscles in our faces when kissing.

# Exchanging fluids

Kissing obviously is also an exchange of saliva between two people. But did you know that the salts, minerals, and other substances in saliva that cause the smell of your breath to change can also regulate a woman's receptivity to sexual activities? 

# Pretty woman

Remember the scene in the 1990 film "Pretty Woman" when Vivian (played by Julia Roberts) tells her client Edward (played by Richard Gere) that the only thing she doesn't do is kiss on the mouth? That wasn't just a plot mechanism written into the script for the love story to work. Prostitutes are said to avoid kissing their clients to reduce the likelihood of bonding or emotional attachment. 

# Women and kissing

Kissing reveals a lot about the kisser and his or her compatibility with the other person. Women use kissing to evaluate a man's potential in a short-term relationship through the intensity and frequency of the kissing. While women are on the lookout for short-term relationship clues, they are also seeking signs of whether there is potential for the relationship to grow. 

# Men and kissing

While women use kissing to evaluate a partner's potential for a relationship, men use kissing for a simpler purpose. Men are likely to use kissing as a means to increase the likelihood of sex. Nonetheless, that's not to say that all kisses from a man are sex-oriented. 

# Before or after

Women have a reputation of being cuddle-friendly after sex, so it's no surprise that women are more likely than men to initiate kissing after sex. However, men are actually more likely to initiate kissing before sex! 

# Fights and kisses

We've all seen Hollywood movies depict a man and a woman rushing together for a long and passionate kiss after an intensely emotional fight. In real life, men are more likely to use kissing as an attempt to end a fight. 

# Kiss for immunity

Kissing has long been recognized as a good way for our bodies to pass along bugs that help build immunity. Once you've contracted a bug, your body then learns to strengthen itself despite showing symptoms of a cold or flu. Kissing merely helps expedite our immune system-boosting processes. 

# Kiss of a lifetime

Whether it's a quick peck on the cheek before heading out the door in the morning or a long passionate kiss that marks the completion of a marvelous date, kissing is a commonplace activity. The average person spends approximately 20,160 minutes of his/her life kissing! 

# Rest and relaxation

Did you know that kissing creates feel-good chemicals in our bodies that help us feel relaxed? Research shows that kissing increases levels of oxytocin in our bodies, which is a natural calming chemical, and increases endorphins. Dopamine levels can also increase, leading to happy feelings of romantic attachment.

Things Never to say in a Relaionship

Generally speaking you should be yourself and be able to say whatever you want when you’re in a relationship. But exercise caution and never find yourself uttering these lines if you don’t want to end up in the doghouse: 

1.      “My ex always used to do __________”. They don’t want to hear about how your ex used to cook for you all the time. Or how they worked out every day. Or anything about them at all, really.

2.      “You’re like a brother/sister to me”. Major romance killer. You are not siblings, so steer clear of any familial comparisons.

3.      “Why can’t you be more like ________?” Don’t compare your partner to someone else or expect him or her to live up to someone else’s standards. No one wants to hear that you think someone else is doing something better than they are.

4.      “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll ________”. No one wants to feel like they’re being forced to act a certain way. You are not the boss of your boyfriend or girlfriend and you don’t have the right to order them around to threaten them.

5.      “__________ is so hot”. Maybe you think your neighbor is gorgeous, but keep that thought to yourself.

6.      “If you really loved me you’d _______”. Lay off the guilt trip. If you want them to do something just ask nicely or simply tell them what you expect from them.

7.      “You’d look better if _________”. Tell them that they look great, even if they don’t think so. Don’t offer suggestions on how they can improve their appearance. Ever.

8.      “Your brother is such a loser”. Don’t bash their friends or family. Even if what you’re saying is true, no one likes to hear criticism about their loved ones. Bite your tongue and vent to a friend if you really must.

9.      “You don’t care as much as I do”. Statements like this are a recipe for disaster because there is no way to prove it and you’ll both end of getting defensive.

10.  “That’s a dumb idea”. When they open up to you and talk about their goals and ideas the last thing you want to do is shut them down. You don’t have to agree with every idea they have but try to find a more tactful way to voice it.

What I Know for Sure About Life After Hello Kitty

I watched the moon landing, the Watergate hearings and the first episode of Saturday Night Live—from a faux-leather beanbag chair in our wood-paneled family room. I owned hot pants, I ate Pop Rocks, I read Go Ask Alice. I had a major crush on Cat Stevens, a God-awful perm and a deep desire to leave the suburbs. I mention these things to prove that I've got a few miles on me. But—and I'm going to have to quote "My Back Pages" here, because on top of everything else, I worshiped Bob Dylan—"I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now." You see, the good thing about being 52 is that you learn a few things about what you can do to turn back time, or at least slow it down a bit.
1. Two words: age appropriate. The only fashion statement a fiftysomething wearing Hello Kitty makes is, "I am desperate to relive the glorious triumph that was Mindy Eisenbach's 7th grade pizza party."
2. Repeat after me. Fish oil and flax seeds, good. Bacon and Red Bull, bad.
3. Find a dog who desperately needs a good home, and give it to him. Pets lower blood pressure, force you to take long walks 37,000 times a day, and pull you out of the narcissism of your me-monkey little life. Bonus: You'll be too busy checking your new roommate for heartworm to check your old thighs for spider veins.
4. Woe to the woman who does not take each and every vacation day she is entitled to. There is no excuse for sitting at your desk when there are a hammock and an umbrella drink out there with your name on them.
5. A vampire facelift does not make you look younger, it makes you look weirder. You're far better off saying, "I feel bad about my neck" and turning that feeling into a brilliant best-seller than having yourself injected with platelet-enriched blood from some other part of your body that has yet to sag. Unable to embrace your inner Ephron? Here's a thought: Buy a scarf.

6. All the vitamins and supplements in the world won't make up for lost REM. Sleep early and sleep often.
7. And in your waking hours, try to have sex. I know, I know, we work, we raise families, we attend Lululemon mega sample sales—there's not a lot left over at the end of a high-stress day. But it doesn't have to be the rip-off-my-lace-panties-with-your-teeth-and-ravage-me-on-high-thread-count-sheets kind of sex. Nobody needs to pretend they're part of Cirque du Soleil, for God's sake. Just floss, spend the $7.99 on Hulu Plus (to watch Stephen Colbert at your leisure), and shoot for something in vanilla.
8. Fact: You're going to get laugh lines. Make sure a few of them actually come from laughing.
9. Money can't buy you love, but it can buy you an excellent therapist/masseuse/colorist, who can in turn help you through the stuff that weighs you down/knots you up/turns you gray. If you can't afford a session with the shrink, at least consider a session with John Frieda, LCSW.
10. Two more words: dimmer switch. 11. Consider the poet Mary Oliver's brilliant advice: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it. Maybe more than anything else, having a passion that goes the distance is the key to staying young.

Unexpected Facts About Attraction

 From the subtle to the surprising: What science tells us about the forces that draw you to others—and them to you.

  Your Parents Were Yuppies

A person born to a couple in their 30s grows up to find older faces more attractive than does one with younger parents, finds a study from the University of Saint Andrews in Scotland. That is, college-aged women with "older" parents were likelier to find wrinkled, weathered faces attractive for either a fling or a marriage. The same was found for young men when considering a woman for a long-term relationship. (Take note: Only a man's mother's age, not his father's, influenced his attraction to older women.)

 Your Limbal Rings Are Riveting

The eye's limbal ring goes in the category of overlooked but not unseen. It's the dark circle around the iris that enhances the whiteness and brightness of the sclera (the whites of the eyes). Researchers at the University of California at Irvine asked people to rate sets of faces that were identical except for the eyes—one had dark and distinct limbal rings and the other had none. The outcome? Whether male or female, the faces with prominent limbal rings were considered more attractive. The likely reason is that a dark, well-defined ring is a signal of youth and health—qualities that people seek in mates. It's thickest and most prominent through the early 20s and fades—often becoming nonexistent—with age and medical conditions.

You Were the One Using the Pick-Up Line

Women are pickier than men, right? Not true, says a speed-dating study from Northwestern University. When men remained seated and women rotated around the room, approaching a new man at every table, the women acted more like guys—that is, they appeared to have lower standards. Regardless of gender, whoever makes the first move is less picky than the people they target, the researchers found. When we invest an effort, we're more "into" the people we hit on than we'd be if they approached us first.

 Love—or Something—Was in the Air

 When women breathe in androstadienone, an often-odorless testosterone derivative in male sweat, they give men higher attractiveness ratings than they would otherwise. After about 15 minutes of exposure,the chemical makes a woman subtly more attentive, aroused-and even happier- with effects continuing for up to an hour, finds a study led by Claire Wyart at the University of California at Berkeley. (In case you're wondering, men vary in their androstadienone levels—and, no, the chemical doesn't brainwash women into having sex or falling in love. It's much more subtle than that.)

Your Date May Be Hungry

How curvy a man prefers his date to be may depend on his situation at any given moment, find researchers Martin Tovee and Viren Swami. In one study, the duo stopped men at a campus dining hall and asked them to rate the body shapes of several dozen women. While all guys preferred figures that represented a normal weight, hungry men were more attracted to women on the heavier side of the range (with a body mass index ~23 vs. 21) than were those who had already eaten. The same thing happened in a follow-up study when guys were in a stressful situation: Compared to their mellow peers, they chose curvier, more rotund (actually, overweight) figures as their womanly ideal. The upshot: If a man feels hungry, threatened or uncertain, he tends to prefer more robust-looking female figures—which may subconsciously remind him of strength, control, nurture and independence.

Your Body Said Something Irresistible

In an hour at a singles bar, average-looking women could be approached by up to four men, found Monica Moore in her study at the University of Missouri. What were these sirens doing? Making more than 35 body language gestures—smiles with eyebrows raised, short, darting glances, arm flexes, hair flicks, neck caresses, and other "displays." Meanwhile, Moore found that a beauty who sits there doing nothing is unlikely to be approached at all. Only when a woman’s body language expresses some interest do men feel comfortable making a move.

You Wore Crimson and Rose

Like moths to a flame—that’s how attracted we all are to the color red. Wearing red increases a woman's chance of being asked out-and of having her date splurge on her—finds a study from the University of Rochester. The simple explanation:ladies in red are perceived as more sexually receptive due to the color’s associations with fertility. Sure enough, the researchers found that single women who posted photos of themselves on online dating sites wearing crimson, scarlet, fuchsia, and other reddish hues—even on just a T-shirt— were more than two times likelier to be interested in casual sex than those wearing any other color of the rainbow. For men, the colour red has an association with high status, which may be why women give guys in, say, red jock straps or ties higher attractiveness ratings. Simply wearing the colour may trigger a virtuous cycle: it encourages us to act sexier because we expect others to think we’re hotter (women) or more confident and powerful (men).

You Chose the Perfect Perfume

Your signature scent— whether it's Chanel, Shalimar or patchouli—becomes you. Literally. Fragrances may amplify and advertise your unique genetic makeup to potential partners, finds a study from the Max Planck Institute in Germany. People who share the same variants of immune system (MHC) genes often preferred the same scents (rose oil, musk or vanilla, for instance). This suggests that particular scents work best with particular body chemistries—and that we know intuitively what fragrances smell best on us. Indeed, a recent Czech study found that when volunteers' sweat was mixed with their preferred perfume(versus a random one), impartial noses gave the resulting mélange much higher ratings.

You Ate Mojo Cubano on Your First Date

Here's another olfactory surprise: Garlic may make you smell more attractive. Researchers in the Czech Republic asked people to eat garlic cream cheese(the equivalent of two to four cloves) every day for one week while wearing scent-trapping pads in their armpits. The next week, the same volunteers ate their bread with plain cream cheese. Which sweat smelled more attractive, more pleasant and less intense to female judges—garlic or plain? Garlic, naturally, but why? Garlic contains antioxidants and improves metabolic functioning, the researchers say, which may improve your body odor. Plus, garlic's antibacterial properties help to kill the real culprit: foul-smelling underarm microorganisms.

You Had Chemistry, on Top of Chemistry

We all know oral contraceptives are useful—for reducing flow and cramps and preventing unplanned pregnancies. The surprise is that the Pill may also lead to unintended romantic quandaries. A U.K. study found that women who were on oral contraceptives when they met their partners were, years later, likelier than non-users to be turned-off, sexually dissatisfied and eager to fantasize about an affair. But here's the interesting part: They were also generally more satisfied with their partner's (non-sexual) contributions, and therefore less likely to separate. The researchers explain: Under Pill-driven conditions of high-progesterone and low fertility, women go for relationship-worthy qualities such as wealth and intelligence more than high-testosterone traits (biceps and block jaws) that are associated with flings. Oral contraceptives may also lead women to reverse their usual preferences in male body odor. Once a woman goes off the Pill, her other instincts complicate the relationship.

Betty Boop Came Out at "Hi"

Whether she's aware of it or not, the pitch of a woman's voice increases a notch (becoming higher but not shrill) when she's flirting, finds a study from McMaster University in Canada. Conveniently, men much prefer these high-pitched dulcet tones over deeper ones. A woman can strike her highest chords around ovulation, when she's likeliest to conceive. Another coincidence: This happens to be the time of the month that men give female voices the highest attractiveness ratings.

Surprising Wedding Traditions (and Superstitions) from Around the Globe

Everyone's got a know-it-all in the family: the uncle who spits out World Series stats at the drop of a hat, the sister who can list all the James Bond flicks in reverse chronological order, the reptile-enthusiast cousin. We're proud to be your wedding equivalent -- here are 50 wedding facts to ponder as you plan your big day:

Good Luck and Bad Luck

1. Hey, brides, tuck a sugar cube into your glove -- according to Greek culture, the sugar will sweeten your union.

2. The English believe a spider found in a wedding dress means good luck. Yikes!

3. In English tradition, Wednesday is considered the "best day" to marry, although Monday is for wealth and Tuesday is for health.

4. The groom carries the bride across the threshold to bravely protect her from evil spirits lurking below.

5. Saturday is the unluckiest wedding day, according to English folklore. Funny -- it's the most popular day of the week to marry!

6. Ancient Romans studied pig entrails to determine the luckiest time to marry.

7. Rain on your wedding day is actually considered good luck, according to Hindu tradition!

8. For good luck, Egyptian women pinch the bride on her wedding day. Ouch!

9. Middle Eastern brides paint henna on their hands and feet to protect themselves from the evil eye.

10. Peas are thrown at Czech newlyweds instead of rice.

11. A Swedish bride puts a silver coin from her father and a gold coin from her mother in each shoe to ensure that she'll never do without.

12. A Finnish bride traditionally went door-to-door collecting gifts in a pillowcase, accompanied by an older married man who represented long marriage.

13. Moroccan women take a milk bath to purify themselves before their wedding ceremony.

14. In Holland, a pine tree is planted outside the newlyweds' home as a symbol of fertility and luck.

It's Got a Ring To It

15. Engagement and wedding rings are worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it was once thought that a vein in that finger led directly to the heart.

16. About 70% of all brides sport the traditional diamond on the fourth finger of their left hand.

17. Priscilla Presley's engagement ring was a whopping 3 1/2-carat rock surrounded by a detachable row of smaller diamonds.

18. Diamonds set in gold or silver became popular as betrothal rings among wealthy Venetians toward the end of the fifteenth century.

19. In the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital happiness.

20. A pearl engagement ring is said to be bad luck because its shape echoes that of a tear.

21. One of history's earliest engagement rings was given to Princess Mary, daughter of Henry VIII. She was two years old at the time.

22. Seventeen tons of gold are made into wedding rings each year in the United States!

23. Snake rings dotted with ruby eyes were popular wedding bands in Victorian England -- the coils winding into a circle symbolized eternity.

24. Aquamarine represents marital harmony and is said to ensure a long, happy marriage.

Fashionable Lore

25. Queen Victoria started the Western world's white wedding dress trend in 1840 -- before then, brides simply wore their best dress.

26. In Asia, wearing robes with embroidered cranes symbolizes fidelity for the length of a marriage.

27. Ancient Greeks and Romans thought the veil protected the bride from evil spirits. Brides have worn veils ever since.

28. On her wedding day, Grace Kelly wore a dress with a bodice made from beautiful 125-year-old lace.

29. Of course, Jackie Kennedy's bridesmaids were far from frumpy. She chose pink silk faille and red satin gowns created by African-American designer Ann Lowe (also the creator of Jackie's dress).

30. In Japan, white was always the color of choice for bridal ensembles -- long before Queen Victoria popularized it in the Western world.

31. Most expensive wedding ever? The marriage of Sheik Rashid Bin Saeed Al Maktoum's son to Princess Salama in Dubai in May 1981. The price tag? $44 million.

32. In Korea, brides don bright hues of red and yellow to take their vows.

33. Brides carry or wear "something old" on their wedding day to symbolize continuity with the past.

34. In Denmark, brides and grooms traditionally cross-dressed to confuse evil spirits!

35. The "something blue" in a bridal ensemble symbolizes purity, fidelity, and love.

Food and Family

36. In Egypt, the bride's family traditionally does all the cooking for a week after the wedding, so the couple can…relax.

37. In South Africa, the parents of both bride and groom traditionally carried fire from their hearths to light a new fire in the newlyweds' hearth.

38. The tradition of a wedding cake comes from ancient Rome, where revelers broke a loaf of bread over a bride's head for fertility's sake.

39. The custom of tiered cakes emerged from a game where the bride and groom attempted to kiss over an ever-higher cake without knocking it over.

40. Queen Victoria's wedding cake weighed a whopping 300 pounds.

41. Legend says single women will dream of their future husbands if they sleep with a slice of groom's cake under their pillows.

42. An old wives' tale: If the younger of two sisters marries first, the older sister must dance barefoot at the wedding or risk never landing a husband.

Show Off at a Cocktail Party

43. In many cultures around the world -- including Celtic, Hindu and Egyptian weddings -- the hands of a bride and groom are literally tied together to demonstrate the couple's commitment to each other and their new bond as a married couple (giving us the popular phrase "tying the knot").

44. The Roman goddess Juno rules over marriage, the hearth, and childbirth, hence the popularity of June weddings.

45. Princess Victoria established the tradition of playing Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" during her wedding processional in 1858.

46. The bride stands to the groom's left during a Christian ceremony, because in bygone days the groom needed his right hand free to fight off other suitors.

47. On average, 7,000 couples marry each day in the United States.

48. Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve are the two busiest "marriage" days in Las Vegas -- elopement central!

49. The Catholic tradition of "posting the banns" to announce a marriage originated as a way to ensure the bride and groom were not related.

50. Stag parties were first held by ancient Spartan soldiers, who kissed their bachelor days goodbye with a raucous party.

Why You’re Lying when You Say ‘I Need a Break from Dating’ If you're thinking of taking a break from dating "to focus on yourself," you're doing yourself a big disservice. You're also lying.      Why? Because no matter how many reasons or justifications you have for needing a break, at the end of the day, not going out on dates because you "want a break" is little more than fear dressed as empowerment. Sure, it sounds like a well-thought out decision, perhaps even spiritually evolved…which is why it often escapes without scrutiny.       Not that you don't have excuses to back it up, because we all do: Work is crazy. My cat is sick. I want to renovate. I'm emotionally exhausted. I want to read more.       What you'd really like to do is pretend you're not looking for a great relationship. You'd like to be off the clock. So that if someone asks you what's doin' in the love department, you can say, "Oh, I took a break from that." Bang. You're officially unaccountable. Free. Which isn't that different from: "I'm taking a break from eating healthy, which is why I'm devouring an entire chocolate torte."What this is is very clever self-delusion. (Granted,you may also be suffering from the delusion that fate alone will make love happen. Read here why this is a horrible way to approach love.)       Here's what you ACTUALLY need a break from when you get to the "Need a break" precipice:      Self-flagellation : Dating isn't nearly as hard as the story you tell yourself about it, and the pressure you heap on it. Two people can go on the same date at the same time, and the one who beats herself up more will have a far less satisfying time. The fun of dating comes from the sense of adventure-and a detachment from the outcome.      I know that seems counterintuitive when what you want IS the outcome (i.e., a wonderful relationship with someone who adores you), but it's that very pressure that sabotages the dater. What you need isn't a break from dating, but a break from the scary high expectations you have and your own harsh self-judgment.

TRY THIS INSTEAD: Make connection, not perfection, the goal. Screw finding your soul mate on every date - this is a recipe for disappointment. Go into any and every interaction, whether it's a formal date or not, with an air of adventure and curiosity. What can you learn about this person, and yourself, in the process? How does it feel to connect with other people, to flirt with them and enjoy their company, regardless of what may follow?       Toggling the on/off switch : Your problem is you believe you're either "dating" or you're "not dating." But that's not how life works. Or love. And if you want to be open to it, wherever you may find it, there's no reason to hang up a "Sorry, we're closed" sign. You can go on a date a week, or a date every few weeks and still be "dating." No need to make a formal announcement that you're "not dating right now," which is little more than your attempt to be excused from risk and effort.       If you believe you can only focus on yourself when dating is switched into OFF mode, then how exactly do you think you'll keep yourself from abandoning yourself wholly when and if you enter a committed relationship? Which, I'm guessing, is what you want? If the most noncommittal form of connection-dating-causes you to lose focus on yourself, then your bigger concern should be how you'll maintain that critical balance when and if things do get more serious. The time to practice that balance is now, not later. TRY THIS INSTEAD: Pace yourself. You may feel you need to call off the dogs because you're just too damn tired. So stop booking 3-4 dates week every week. Maybe one is enough for you, maybe two. I have a rule myself, which is no more than two first dates in a week. Those first ones require a particular brand of energy, and you want to be fresh for those. So space them out. No one said you had to be a weekend warrior. If you don't make time for yourself while you're dating, you actually won't be much fun TO date.      Thinking he'll show up when you're not looking I hate this advice. It's the romantic equivalent of "Don't think of a white elephant." If meeting a partner, lover, boyfriend, etc., is something you really want, you don't stop looking. This makes no sense.       And yet, this is what women tell each other. Your friends tell you to stop looking, because "that's exactly how they met their boyfriends." Unfortunately, what they're telling you is causally incorrect. It wasn't the "not looking" that made it happen. It was the not needing, the not obsessing. Closing your eyes to what you really want is the worst idea ever. Quitting dating doesn't make you better at dating, and certainly doesn't help you meet people you could really like.       TRY THIS INSTEAD: Engage, don't obsess. Let go of your attachment to the idea of how things will or should turn out. That is what's making you mental. When someone tells you she met the love of her life when she wasn't even looking, she means she was living her life, not looking to the universe to fill a void. She wasn't predicting doom or anticipating failure or hating herself for being single. As a result, she was able to be open and engage with other people without a white-knuckled need for This to Be the One.     
That's what you should be doing. When you care for yourself and focus on your life while you stay engaged and open to the people around you, connection becomes an option and a joy. It's the difference between looking for someone to save you from your life-and looking for someone to share it with. A WORD ON FOCUS:You also view dating as the opposite of focusing on yourself. Actually, dating is all about you. What you like, what you want, who appeals to you. You take a break from cleaning the gutters on a 90-degree day. You don't take a break from meeting people unless you seal yourself off in an ashram. Pretty sure you're not doing that.      Because it seems to me that if you lose a grip on yourself during the dating process, then you'll either expect that it gets easier in a relationship (wrong again) or that you won't mind (again, no). In fact, dating is the best time to practice what it means to connect with others AND maintain a connection with yourself.  

Most Common Steamy Dreams—Decoded

 

 Dreaming about sex can be totally mind-blowing-or really effing creepy. According to research performed by the University of Montreal Dream and Nightmare Laboratory, eight percent of our dreams contain sexual content (though men reportedly dream about doing the nasty more frequently than we do). To help you find the meaning of your nighttime sexy-time, we've consulted the experts to decode the most common themes of x-rated dreams. 

1. The Mystery Lover
Dream expert Lauri Quinn Loewenberg, author of Dream On It, Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, says the most common steamy dream involves some kind of faceless dude totally ravaging us. Interestingly enough, this guy isn't some mysterious soul mate: His presence in your dreams actually signifies that you need to enlist some stereotypically masculine traits in your waking life-i.e. be assertive and speak your mind.

2. The Big O
According to analysis on DreamMoods.com, dreaming of climax-or maybe even having one-can represent an exciting end to something. But it could also mean that you've got some major sexual tension built up and just need some non-sleeping action-stat!

3. The Steamy Affair
Loewenberg says that if you dream of getting it on with a dude who's not your BF, it could mean that something is going on in real life that's taking your attention away from your man. And, therefore, the twinge of guilt you feel in the dream-and when you wake from it-indicates that, deep down, you know that whatever it is you're doing doesn't quite sit well with your guy.  

4. The Same-Sex Encouter
While having a same-sex sex dream might seem a bit, well, confusing, according to DreamMoods.com, it actually represents a greater sense of self-confidence and acceptance. So, if you dream of getting busy with another chick, you're really just showing yourself some love.

5. The Ex Sex
Well, this is a fun one. You thought the relationship-and the feelings you had-were beyond over, but then you dream you're getting it on with him again. Loewenberg says that the most common reason we dream of a dreaded ex is because we might need to rekindle the excitement in our current intimate life, especially if we've hit in a dry spell or our current relationship has become a bit too routine.

6. The Coworker Romp
It's always fun going into work when you spent the previous night doing the nasty with a guy in the cube next to you. If you weren't crushing on him before, this dream could mean that you need to collaborate, work with or learn from the guy to get ahead, Loewenberg says. Well, a sex dream is definitely one way to get you to pay more attention to someone, that's for sure. 

7. The Boss Shag
Doesn't get much more awkward than this. Though, sex dreams are not necessarily about the person you're shagging but rather about what he or she represents, Loewenberg says. This particular one is most likely telling you that it's time to take charge somewhere in your life-as in, you need to be the boss.

8. The Orgy
A multi-person romp could signify repressed sexual desire, according to DreamMoods.com. (Perhaps you're a bit too conservative in your sex life and need to mix things up a bit with a new position, new toy or new locale?) But this dream might not have anything to do with sex at all: It could mean that you're feeling spread too thin in your waking life and need to reprioritize where you're putting your time and energy.