The Best Breakup Advice from Celebrities
From Nicole Kidman and Reese Witherspoon's retrospective revelations to Jennifer Love Hewitt's pragmatic advice and Jennifer Lopez's now famous "I loved myself more" mantra, all of these women are proof that, while breakups may feel like the end of the world, they are really just the beginning of something new.
Read on for inspiring and candid breakup advice that these celebrities gleaned from their public and often messy splits.
Jennifer Love Hewitt: Make A Post-Breakup To Do List
By our estimate, Jennifer Love Hewitt has gone through 84,375 breakups. Well, not really, but the 32-year-old has enough relationships under her belt that she is constantly referred to in interviews as a "serial dater," a label she hates!
With an ex list that includes Hollywood heartthrobs like Enrique Iglesias, Shaggy and the notorious John Mayer, Jennifer has learned so much about love and relationships over the years that she even wrote a book about it, titled The Day I Shot Cupid. It's peppered with smart breakup advice, including a list of "20 Things To Do After A Breakup."
One of the things she recommends? "Make out with a stranger (he must be gorgeous or you'll feel worse.)"
"You can allow yourself 72 hours of wallowing time," she added to Us Weekly after her 2010 split from then-boyfriend Jamie Kennedy. "Then you've got to get into the gym, stop eating the ice cream and move on."
Reese Witherspoon: Don't Play The Blame Game
Reese Witherspoon may now be happily married to her second husband, Jim Toth, but she's experienced a great amount of heartbreak, particularly when her marriage to Ryan Phillippe, the father of her two children, fell apart in 2007. (It was rumored that Reese had discovered he was having an affair with another actress after seeing a text message on his phone.)
She told Elle Magazine in 2009 that their breakup had been a "very humiliating and very isolating" experience.
"When people get in your face and say, 'This will pass,' you think, 'Are they crazy? I'm never gonna feel any better than I feel right this minute and nothing's ever gonna make sense again.'"
"You see a lot of people play this blame game. Blame, blame, blame. You know? And it's a really easy thing to do, and I'm certainly guilty of it. [You have to] look at yourself and go, 'What part of this do I need to own? Which part of this is my responsibility?' And that's the painful work that you have to go through to hopefully get some real life knowledge out of it."
Jenny McCarthy: You Deserve To Be Happy
Sometimes there isn't a dramatic reason for a breakup, such as in Jenny McCarthy's 2010 split from Jim Carrey after she dated him for five years.
In an interview with Access Hollywood, the 39-year-old actress admitted at the time that the relationship just wasn't fun anymore.
"Something I've learned in leaving any relationship - if I blame the other person and if I blame Jim for any reason for the break-up, I lost the lesson in it," she said.
"I deserve to be happy and I think a lot of people stay in relationships for wrong reasons and instead of just looking at each other and just saying, 'you know, it's like sands of the hourglass, we learned our lessons, we can end in war or we can end in peace.'" Uma Thurman: It Will Get Better In 2007, Uma Thurman spoke to Glamour Magazine about her divorce from Ethan Hawke, whom she split from in 2003:
"When I was first going through my separation, someone said to me, 'It will take you half as long as you were in the relationship before you'll feel better.' And I wanted to knock them out cold across the table. Because, of course, I was in agony. And the last thing I wanted to think was that I was going to stay that way for a long time."
"But interestingly enough, it is over four years later - we were together eight years - and I finally feel like, cool. I feel better."
Nicole Kidman: You Never Know What's Around The Corner
After splitting from Tom Cruise, her husband of 11 years, in 2001, Nicole Kidman told a reporter:
"I'm not sure what the future holds but I do know that I'm going to be positive and not wake up feeling desperate. As my dad said 'Nic, it is what it is, it's not what it should have been, not what it could have been, it is what it is.'"
It seems like her dad's advice to accept her breakup for what it was and move forward was spot-on, as the 44-year-old actress later went on to win an Oscar, marry the none-too-shabby Keith Urban, and have two more kids.
"I was really damaged and not sure whether [love] was going to happen again to me," Nicole recently told British Marie Claire about that time of her life, post-divorce.
"I certainly never thought I'd have a baby at 41. But we never know what's around the corner."
Vivica A. Fox: Have Courage
Vivica A. Fox was preparing to walk down the aisle again in 2011, when she realized her relationship wasn't the best thing for her.
"I was ready to do the family thing but unfortunately things didn't work out," said the 47-year-old actress about her breakup from fiancé Omar "Slim" White.
"I had the courage to end things before we jumped the broom and wasted a lot of money. I've been married before and if there are warning signs, you should pay attention to them before you get families involved with all the hoopla."
"I told myself I'm going to try something different next time 'cause I happened to fall in love with a six pack and a smile and look what that's gotten me."
Katy Perry: You Have To Move On
See that blue hair? Her turquoise locks are just one of the ways that self-professed bad breaker-upper Katy Perry has tried to move on and start anew, since her husband of 14 months, Russell Brand, filed for divorce last December.
"When you breakup with someone you move on," the 27-year-old pop singer said back in 2009, after ending things with ex-boyfriend Travis McCoy. "You don't really want to move on...but you have to because they don't give you any choice."
Unlike some celebrities, who've managed to stay on friendly terms with their exes immediately after their breakups, don't count on Katy and Russell to be BFFs again anytime soon.
She told Seventeen: "During a breakup, I almost want you to hate me, because I can't be friends with you. If I love you, I'm so in love with you that it's not, 'Sorry this isn't working out. Can we be friends?'"
Jennifer Lopez: You Have To Put Yourself First
"You've got to love yourself first, And until you value yourself enough and love yourself enough to know that, you can't really have a healthy relationship," Jennifer Lopez told Vanity Fair, after splitting from ex- husband Marc Anthony in 2011.
"It's not that I didn't love myself before. Sometimes we don't realize that we are compromising ourselves. To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself-if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now."
"Sometimes it doesn't work-and that's sad. But I remain an eternal optimist about love. I believe in love," she added. "It's still my biggest dream. I am positive-determined to move forward with my life, bring up my babies, and do the best job I can as a mother, entertainer, and person. I now look forward to new challenges. I feel strong."
Rihanna: You Will Smile Again
Domestic violence ended Rihanna's relationship with then-boyfriend Chris Brown in 2008, and, according to Us Weekly, it took a long time for Rihanna to get over.
"God has a crazy way of working, and sometimes when stuff happens you feel like, 'What did I do to deserve this?' Why was it backfiring on me?" she said in retrospect about the breakup.
"[But] once you're back on your feet - if you ever make it back on your feet - that's the ultimate achievement."
"I remember I was in New York at the Trump Hotel and I woke up and I just knew I was over it. It was a different day. I felt different. I didn't feel lonely," she recalled. "I felt like I wanted to get up and be in the world. That was a great, great feeling."
Anne Hathaway: What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger
Anne Hathway's 2008 breakup from Rafaello Follieri was especially excruciating for the 29-year-old actress, as her Italian ex-boyfriend was arrested and ultimately convicted of fraud and money laundering for crimes he committed during the four years that they were together.
Still, while that amount of deception and scandal in a relationship might have caused other women to give up on love completely, the Dark Knight Rises star was able to work past her trust issues and find happiness again with now-fiancé Adam Shulman.
"I think the thing that I have learned is that a bad love experience is no reason to fear a new love experience," the actress told The Telegraph in 2010.
"But you have to be very honest at every single stage with the person about how you've been hurt, and hopefully they will be supportive about whatever it is that you have to go through."
"Everybody has bad relationships and, at the end of the day, they are just a great way to set yourself up for a good relationship."
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